A new book (2011) called “Inside Jokes: Using Humour to Reverse-Engineer the Mind” has the following premise:

our brains make sense of our daily lives via a never ending series of assumptions, based on sparse, incomplete information. All these best guesses simplify our world, give us critical insights into the minds of others, and streamline our decisions. But mistakes are inevitable, and even a small faulty assumption can open the door to bigger and costlier mistakes. Enter mirth, a little pulse of reward the brain gives itself for seeking out and correcting our mistaken assumptions.

A sense of humor is the lure

that keeps our brains alert

for the gaps between our quick-fire

assumptions and reality. 

Coauthored by three scholars, the book started as an undergrad term paper. Matthew Hurley took a course on humor, and started wondering why humans find anything funny. Why have a sense of humor in the first place? He then enlisted Dennett and Adams as coauthors when he was encouraged to publish his theory.

They argue that much of what we consider comedy takes advantage of this cognitive reflex. I like it!

I read an interesting article the other day on emotional cleansing and release, where the author talks about the understanding of ‘black bags’. The idea that we store up emotions and thoughts we are unable to deal with at the time, until we are ready to let go of them.

I visualise these ‘black bags’ as the black garbage bags we all know and love. And love to hate. The heavy buggers we haul out to the bins on the sidewalk once a week. The smelly yukky bags we hardly want to touch. The feeling of triumph when we’re done shoving them into the bin, and we get to walk away from them. No looking back.

I’m not writing to give feedback of my thoughts on the article as a whole, but one of the paragraphs really stuck with me that day.

We have two choices: the pain of staying the same, or the pain of growth. If we stay the same, we will have subtle pain our whole lives until we die wondering “what if?” Or we can choose the pain of growth, which can be intense, but it is temporary. On the other side is the goal, result and life we desire.

And followed by this question:

“So, what empowering meaning can you give to the challenges of your life?”

I like this bit. I don’t think life sucks if you do. Because sometimes life sucks regardless of what you do. BUT, either way, we DO have those two choices, so as much as sometimes there’s a feeling of a lack of control over the happenings of our lives, there is full control over how we choose to respond, and move through the experiences we’re faced with.

We can choose to see each challenge with new empowering meaning.

Perspective changes everything.
Perspective is essential.

A little background: I finished 2011 with my digestive, nervous and immune systems a bit messed up. I’m working with an amazing naturopath/holistic doctor who is like my own personal jesus (big shout out to Phoebe) who has helped me incredibly.

I’m on a multitude of herbs and roots and supplements to support and aid my systems in a number of areas. I’ve also been given specific foods I need to eat, and various other things I need to do. All very good.

Alongside all of this, I have a list of things that I am doing, which, while they are specific for me right now, will be helpful for anyone who is just ‘not feeling great’.

And I think that if we were doing these
healing, supportive and kind things for ourselves all the time,
maybe we wouldn’t be doing so much of the crashing and burning.

So, at the top end of the new year, here’s some helpful, restful, kind and healing things that hopefully some spark an interest for you, and help you care for yourself as well.

1. sleep

It’s crucial! 8 hours and all that jazz… but not just any old 8 hours, we need to sleep during specific hours for our body to rejuvenate correctly. Your organs catch up on themselves between 10pm – 2am, so make sure you’re in bed by 10, so that you give your organs maximum time to replenish. Your brain will then finish things off by rejuvenating itself between 2 – 6am.

And on this topic – get offline by 8/9pm – or if you’re really brave, get offline from sunset if possible. It’s hard, but it’s sooo good. Rather have a bath, or read a book, or chat to a friend on the couch over a cup of tea…

2. diaphragm breathing

All of the body’s vital functions (sleep, digestion, immunity, detoxification, metabolism) work better when the mind and body are relaxed, and stress is well managed. Diaphragm breathing is one of the most powerful ways to decrease stress and increase energy. By using the diaphragm to breathe, a person’s physiology can be dramatically changed, literally activating the relaxation centres in the brain.

Tips from Phoebe: Practice abdominal breathing when you go to bed – try to get up to 50 breaths, or more. Imagine letting go of your thoughts with each ‘out’ breath.

If you don’t know what diaphragm breathing is, here’s a little rundown:

I’ve journalled for years, but am just rediscovering how great it is as a way to emotionally detoxify – to rant, create, reflect… Making time for daily journalling can be a very healing ritual. With practice, journaling can be used in a stream-of-consciousness way, giving you access to your subconscious and providing you deep insights.

I recently found a very interesting journaling exercise:

• ask a question writing with your dominant hand and changing to your less-used hand to write the answer.

4. meditation

I’ve blogged about meditation before. You can catch up here. My favourite way to meditate is to be out in nature, preferably near water, and meditate in the sun for twenty minutes or so. Fresh perspective changes everything.

Meditating calms me. It stills me. It makes me stop. Like really stop. And when I really stop, then I can start up again with my head in the right space for my day to flow. It ‘declutters’ me. Me-of-the-analytical-mind always has fifty thousand things running through my head, and meditating breaks that down and shuts everything out. THAT is a daily salvation for me.

5. bare feet on earth twice daily

This sounds so simple, but it’s pretty tricky in today’s world. For most of us, our surroundings are paved, concreted, marbled. The earth is all covered up…

The simple act of bare feet touching the earth almost becomes a ‘sacred’ act, as being in a natural environment is not only relaxing and pleasant, but also necessary for us to truly be healthy. Being in nature is also very healing.

Connecting with these subtle sensory experiences allows us to be in our body, to take pleasure in being alive, and to allow thoughts, worries and obligations to dissolve to the periphery of the present moment. Energetically, touching the earth with our feet instantly benefits us by dissolving positive ions and increases exposure to negative ions, providing emotionally uplifting and physical healing effects.

6. napping

Napping in the afternoons is a great habit for those with low energy. I am napping daily sometime between 3 – 5pm, as this is ‘kidney time’ (meaning kidneys and adrenals) so it is at this time that people with weakness in this area feel symptoms strongly. It is a habit that is greatly rejuvenative and can also help teach us to ‘let go’. Even just twenty minutes will make a difference.

7. steams or sauna

Heat therapies are a way to create an artificial fever – they simulate white cells and boost immune function. The one I go to is an infra-red sauna, specifically recommended, but any one will do!

And for more info on the amazingness of infra-red saunas, read Sarah Wilson’s recent post here.

8. oat and lavender bath

About once or twice a week, have a oat and lavender bath. Oats are a nervous system tonic – they are soothing and relaxing. Fill an old stocking with rolled oats and some lavender flowers.

Bring candles, a notepad, play music – bring anything into the bathroom that makes you feel cosy. Try to stay in the (hot) bath for an hour.

9. cultivate joy and optimism

Sometimes this is as simple as choosing it. I know, it sounds so cheesy, but it’s also true. A ‘gratitude diary’ is also really good. It helps to note down things that make me feel happy, joyful, blessed…

I’ve also written a list of what to do when things feel crappy – also known as the ‘what to do when everything sucks’ list. Writing this down when you are in a happy space is useful, then you can refer to it later when you are feeling stuck. The list could include: going outside, go for a swim, call a particular friend… things that make you happy rather than crappy.

10. releasing ceremony

You might think this is a little woo-woo, but the intention is fabulous regardless of how you outwork it. It’s all about releasing ‘stuff’ from your life in order to move forward into wholeness. Check it out.
You can also make your own releasing kit here.

Hopefully some of these help some of you. x

“Be brave and continue the journey – the only way out is in and through” 

Teacher says a word. You write. LITERALLY. You just write. So whatever comes to mind. Only rule is: there’s NO RULES. You. just. write.

I used to freak out. And freeze. Because when there’s open and endless opportunity, I don’t always cope so well. I need only one or two options, or very close parameters, and then I can usually run with an idea. But this? JUST WRITE? Madness.

Then I’d start. Our teacher gave us ‘mushrooms’ as the starting word once. WHAT THE.

Mushroom. Um, fungus? Ok, it’s messy. Reminds me of a forest. Oooo, enchanted forests! Yay. Ok, now I’m having fun. So I went from mushroom, to forests, to dress ups, to faraway lands, to pirate ships, to fishing, to beaches, our holiday house, my house, school, the bus…. yeah. It’s all connected.

Key: IT IS ALL CONNECTED.

We are all connected. Everything is connected. How you behaved in the coffee shop this morning has bearing on your interview with that fancy company this afternoon, because when you ranted about your ‘not-so-hot’ skinny cap, the assistant of your potential new boss was standing in line behind you, and now she’s telling him all about you…

Your generosity with a ‘stranger’ last month brings kindness and an open door in a situation you’ve been trying to resolve for ages when the stranger is best friends with the person you need to connect with…

Treat people kindly. Consider that the next person you have anything to do with holds part of your destiny. That’ll change how you see things….

How you leave one thing affects how you enter the next.

Close doors well. Start well. Finish well.

2012 follows on from 2011. You take YOU with you.

EVERYTHING is connected…

Let’s end 2011 how we want to start 2012. Be that whatever is important for each of us individually.

Happy new year.

‘So much time without love’

Sometimes I just look at a word over and over, until eventually it looks completely wrong and I wonder if I even know how to spell. Better still, when you say a word over and over, until you freak yourself out and it sounds so wrong. Like ‘frugle’. Say that over and over. Or even, just look at it. What a ridiculous word.

Here’s a few words that I really love at the moment:

relishing. ‘strong appreciation or liking. hearty enjoyment’. i like the ‘shhh’ part. it’s a strong word.

ergo. like therefore. only more appealing to me. probably because it’s much shorter to write.

stupendous. it feels like a totally made up word. which i like. because creating stuff makes me happy.

whimsical. it’s a floaty type of word. i like lots of words with ‘w’ because they’re mostly soft. and gentle.

lyrical. i like the double ‘l’s in the word. it’s book-ended itself in goodness. that’s a clever word.

superfluous. again, it’s like a made up word. i mean seriously. what the heck? which is why i love it. it kinda feels rebellious to use words that seem made up…

What words do you love? 

So! Thought I’d share a few of the foodie things I’ve been learning and embracing lately… and will be trying to stick to through the silly season!

1. When I wake up in the mornings I drink (a lot of) hot water with a big chunk of lemon, or apple cider vinegar.

3. I’m currently eating things like blueberries, kale, spinach, turmeric, flaxseed, and other green leafy vegetables to help with inflammation.

4. I’ve been adding coriander, pumpkin seeds and/or sunflower seeds to most of my (warm) salads. These guys apparently help remove pesticides/toxins from your system. Who knew! (everyone ‘cept me…)

5. Throughout the day, I drink a lot of green tea, and other herbal teas. I find I need hot drinks, as my body isn’t loving cold liquids these days. Sometimes on a hot afternoon I’ll have a fresh carrot juice with (real) ginger and some cayenne pepper. That’s a “wake me up!” drink if you ever need one!

6. I’m also steering clear of the simple carbs – rice, breads, pastas, etc. Not eating any of it at the moment. That definitely helps with digestion.

What do you do food-wise when you’re feeling shitty? Please share!

:: big love :: xx ::

This is a very good thing. It’s hard to be real. But it’s also the best thing ever. Freedom comes. Lightness comes. And the feeling you get when you know that someone knows YOU, and all of you, AND still loves you, is worth more than anything.

I recently shared something not-so-fun with someone. It was hard. But it was also very necessary (how ridiculous is it being a responsible adult!) and very worthwhile. Good for my mind, my soul, my mental health, my everything.

It reminds me a little of this. From The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams. A classic. And a very smart passage, if you’ll choose to ‘see’…

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real.” ”Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?” ”It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. ”You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Tumblr. It’s another ‘thing to do’. And it’s absolutely huge these days. Founded in 2007, it’s now the 10th largest social media network, with over two million daily posts, and over fifteen thousand new users per day. Why so large? Because we like to create. We’re made to be creative. And it’s a place we can connect.

I’ve noticed it’s also a way to fight boredom. The teenage girls I’m around these days spend endless hours ‘reblogging’, screenshotting and pasting, giggling at ‘gifs’ and stalking their latest crushes.

It’s a fun way to fight boredom. And in light of that, I’m sharing this. ‘The Fight Boredom Manifesto” by Hello Amber! which I absolutely love.

Enjoy!

“We will fight boredom with action, ideas and creativity. We will fight boredom with feminism, friend dates, and crafternoons.
We will fight jealousy and girl-hate and all the -isms and phobias in our communities.
We will fight boredom by encouraging each other and maintaining positive friendships.
We will fight the winter blues with long conversations, hot drinks and new adventures.
We will have picnics in the springtime.
We will fight boredom with bike rides, cup cakes and trips to the library.
We will write letters and not be afraid to cart our typewriters long distances.
We will be critical of the mainstream.
We will not be afraid to look ridiculous.
When our acquaintances complain of boredom, we will do our best to help them fight it (or perhaps get drunk and remind them only boring people get bored).
We will fight boredom with our own zines and manifestos – write your own!”

I made a tumblr myself. You can find it here.

“Millions long for immortality
who don’t know what to do with themselves 
on a rainy Sunday afternoon” 
Anon.