the difference between happiness

Emotions. It’s almost a swear word. So fickle and flighty these little beasts can be.
Within a twenty four hour period I can swan through the vast expanse that is the emotional spectrum, and it can be intense. On either end of the scale. And I feel for those who come within my range when I’m on either end of that spectrum.

I bet the same is true for you. At least I hope it is. Say it’s true.

But I don’t want to live like that. So I listen out for ways to combat the riding of the emotions we as humans(and seemingly even more so as the female of the species DAMN YOU HORMONES) endure.

“Be happy. It’s a choice”. We hear it all the time.

BUT SOMETIMES I JUST DON’T WANT TO BE HAPPY.
There. I said it. I don’t. TRULY. Because ‘happy’ is just another emotion. And I know how quickly I can trawl through the bowels of my emotions in a day…

“Embrace your emotions… feeeeeel what you feel”. Ok. Sure. I do. BUT THEN WHAT? And how do I navigate those emotions rather than just ’embracing’ them for embracing’s sake??

I’m at the point where I know my soul needs an anchor. It sounds crazy. But I need it. For me to truly soar, I need to be grounded in something that generates my freedom… it’s kinda oxymoron-ish… I know, but that’s my reality.

And I’m coming to find more and more that that anchor is JOY.
Which sounds ridiculous, because isn’t that seemingly similar to happiness? Which is just another emotion?

Well no, not at all. The dictionary defines joy as ‘a deep condition of contentment’. Joy is different to the fickleness of happiness, which for me is swayed by anything from a change in weather, to a traffic jam, to whether my tea gets cold before I drink it…

For me, joy is not an emotion. My soul can anchor itself in joy. Deep seated joy. And I can SIT IN IT, like sitting steadfast in concrete, rather than riding the wave of an emotion. Which is literally that: a wave. Those emotions will come. And then go. I can be full of joy, but still experience an emotion like sadness, or jealousy… and the fact that I’m seated in joy will help determine how I navigate those emotions….

This is a good thing for me, because I don’t want to be ruled by my emotions, but I also don’t want to ignore them. Being anchored in something allows me the safe exploration space to ‘feeeel‘ my emotions and still be in control of how I choose to react to them.

And what I love EVEN MORE about joy is that it’s also defined as ‘an outward show of pleasure or delight; rejoicing’.

It’s internal. It does something IN me. It grounds me. Anchors me.
AND THEN I LIVE IT OUT….
Regardless of whichever hazy crazy emotion I’m experiencing at that moment…

So I’m anchored. And it’s goooood. You’d think that steeling myself in one spot would imprison me, but it’s in this anchoring that I’m finding I’m more than free…

‘The light in the eyes of him whose heart is joyful rejoices the hearts of others’.

Advertisements

One thought on “the difference between happiness

  1. I love this post. I have often felt this same way but could not describe it at all….you just have… thank you!

    I do find that no matter what mood I am in…. I experience many moments of joy every day, from a fleeting split second to many minutes! Catching a glimpse of something, or hearing something said, or a sound, feeling or experiencing something….there are heaps of moments of joy every day. And because I am aware that this happens…I find I look for them! And I am never disapointed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s