my gran died. so i coloured my hair.

I’m not even kidding.

I was woken in the VERY weeeee hours of this morning to the news that my gran had just died. She was 85 years old.

That’s my gran, with her two daughters, at the top of Table Mountain in Cape Town.

Now, just so you know, we’ve been ‘waiting’ for this for the past three weeks, so it was something I was expecting.

But, as it turns out, news of the death of someone you love is always absolutely gutting, regardless of how prepared you think you may be.

So there I was, alone, in the dark, still half asleep but very much wide awake.

And my family on the other side of the world. Which very much sucketh delux. [understatement]

So I got up and coloured my hair. With tears streaming down my face. As you do.

I did it because I desperately needed something to do. It was instinctive. Not the hair colouring per se, but the actual need to DO SOMETHING…

If I was with my family, I’d have been making tea. Or hugging my mum. Or organising SOMETHING.

But I’m not there. And ‘there’ is where they all are.

Colouring my hair did nothing for me, but the act of doing something helped me for sure. I was feeling the tension building in my body as I lay in the dark, and once I got busy whacking those gloves on, I could feel it leave. The body is an incredible thing…

And then I went to work. Because I didn’t want to sit around and let the tension build again. And I worked with a six week old baby girl… very new, and very young, just starting out on her big journey of life.

It was very bittersweet. Very ‘circle of life’ for me. I loved it.

The comings and the goings…   LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL….

RIP Sheila Wilson Darlington xxx

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6 thoughts on “my gran died. so i coloured my hair.

  1. Jo,
    So sorry to hear about your Gran. It’s hard to be away from family at these times but you have a whole bunch of people who care for you so just let them be your stand-in family. Hair dying is good but cuddles are better. ((((((><)))))))
    Sx

  2. Oh Jo, so sad to hear about your dear Gran’s passing.
    Condolences to you, you mum & immediate & extended family.

    You are right about “hearing the news” ..yes, it’s ‘imminent’ but still that phone call and those words have that awful OMG feeling..so familiar to me, after taking the late night call that my mum had passed away after 5 or so days of being told ‘any day’ …

    I know you feel so disconnected in a number of ways right now..and your view expressed, the care of a person starting in life , today seems such a fitting way to honor your Gran.

    Hugs xxx

  3. Hey sweetheart! Love you muchly! I highly recommend grabbing a good girlfriend & doing something your gran would have loved to do with you or that you would have loved to have done with her. Celebrate & cry and talk & let your heart heal. xx

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