Hold lightly


I know… I’ve neglected my blog. I had a big year in 2013, and I neglected a lot of things, including my blog. And me. But here I am, and it’s 2014 (or even, Version 2.014 as I like to call it) so I’m starting fresh.

I’ve been quietly (and not so quietly, for the poor people involved) working through some stuff. And this past week has been huge for me. HUGE. A really important week. And I finally (thank god, say the poor people involved) dug myself out of my little pit and Got. It.

You know how we hold so tightly to the things we love, and guard what’s important to us? Ferociously. Yeah, well, sometimes that doesn’t work out so great… does it.

I was holding so tightly to something I was so determined not to lose, or allow to shift and morph and evolve as it needed to, that not only did I almost bleed the very life out if it but I also hurt my hands (and heart and soul) in the process with my very rigid grip. And I only have myself to blame.

And yes, because I was so tight-fisted about that One Thing, I also had no room for anything else. Which is never good, I know.

It was only when my hands were shaking sooooo friggin hard from holding on too tightly for too long (we all know that feeling!) that I was forced to let go. And in that letting go, I – very thankfully – found my own freedom. And, funnily enough, space for that thing to still be in my hands in a whole new way.

It’s amazing what you find in your letting go. Which is easier to say than to live out, I know, especially if you’re anything like me – which is a super stubborn independent control freak Aries. (Apologies again to those who deal with me on a regular basis.)

Open hands. It’s still physically the exact same two hands.
But they look completely different. And their function and role changes too.
There’s so much more space in two open hands than in two closed fists.
Space for light. And air.
And space for things to grow. And be.
Space to breathe…

Open hands. Open heart.
The same principles apply.
And when you can do it with your hands, you can do it with your heart.

First the natural, then spiritual. That’s the way life works.

“Hold everything in your hands lightly… it hurts when you finally have to pry your fingers open.”

Selah. (Pause, and think calmly on that.) xxxx




my life as a swinging bob

Not *that* kind of swinger…

So, what is a pendulum anyway? (please please please click on that link just to laugh with me at the quirky graphics and the ‘bob’) (also, go to that link to find out who ‘bob’ is…)

A quick summary… something hanging from a fixed point which, when pulled back and released, is free to swing down by force of gravity, and then out and up because of inertia…

Bobs on pendulums swing. That’s just how it is. Scientifically. The bob can’t fight it. It just has to go with it. When you pull the bob as far as you can to one end, and then release, it will swing down(because of gravity) and across and out(because of inertia).

But whatever. They swing. And then eventually, they slow down, and stop swinging completely, IF AND WHEN THERE’S NO MORE EXTERNAL FORCE WORKING ON THEM. 

Such is life I find… something hits you, you swing, you finally feel like you’re settling, and something hits you again. Rinse and repeat. And then you die. And there’s no more external force working on you.

I’m a bob. Well, I’m a Jo, but also, most definitely a bob. And so are you. Life comes at us, with external pressures, and we’re forced to swing. It is what it is. If you try to fight it, you’ll crack and break. Pretty much.

It’s all crazy and manic initially, and the swinging is wild and high and extreme. But, as we settle in, we ease into the swinging, and even, perhaps, begin to enjoy the rythmic lull, until we come to a stop, and it all starts again….

The important things to remember are that the swinging will stop, and if we go with the flow, we’ll find our rythym…

Bob with me.

don’t forget to take out the trash

We carry stuff. It’s exhausting. Very. Emotional stuff. Feelings about past events, hurts we’ve never let go of.. just S.T.U.F.F. We all do it. Because sometimes life is HARD. And things happen. And we’re left with memories, and thoughts and FEELINGS. Oh the feelings!

I read an interesting article the other day on emotional cleansing and release, where the author talks about the understanding of ‘black bags’. The idea that we store up emotions and thoughts we are unable to deal with at the time, until we are ready to let go of them.

“these black bags can be measured along neuro pathways. By measuring electrical impulses along neural pathways, repressed emotions show up as blockages along the pathways within the nervous system.

Massage therapists run into these black bags as well. While massaging a client’s body, the client might re-experience a wave of old emotions and feel a physical as well as an emotional release. This indicates the emotions a client has stored within the black bag have formed a physical blockage. Releasing that physical blockage can help release the emotional black bag as well.

This makes sense. And so does the next idea. That the black bags will go where you direct them by your language. Language is SO powerful. How we speak about ourselves (even subconsciously) has a profound impact on our bodies.

Someone who doesn’t like their job and continually says “This job is a pain in the neck” may find they suffer from pain in the neck or head. Any time he or she has a negative experience at work, the unconscious mind puts the black bag exactly where instructed. Continue reading

‘life only sucks if you do’. But really?

I read an article last year called ‘life only sucks if you do’. It was an interesting read. You can find it here if you’d like to have a sticky-beak. I read it because the title intrigued me, and admittedly, prickled me a little.

I’m not writing to give feedback of my thoughts on the article as a whole, but one of the paragraphs really stuck with me that day.

We have two choices: the pain of staying the same, or the pain of growth. If we stay the same, we will have subtle pain our whole lives until we die wondering “what if?” Or we can choose the pain of growth, which can be intense, but it is temporary. On the other side is the goal, result and life we desire.

And followed by this question:

“So, what empowering meaning can you give to the challenges of your life?”

I like this bit. I don’t think life sucks if you do. Because sometimes life sucks regardless of what you do. BUT, either way, we DO have those two choices, so as much as sometimes there’s a feeling of a lack of control over the happenings of our lives, there is full control over how we choose to respond, and move through the experiences we’re faced with.

We can choose to see each challenge with new empowering meaning.

Perspective changes everything.
Perspective is essential.


stream of consciousness

Did you ever do this in school?

Teacher says a word. You write. LITERALLY. You just write. So whatever comes to mind. Only rule is: there’s NO RULES. You. just. write.

I used to freak out. And freeze. Because when there’s open and endless opportunity, I don’t always cope so well. I need only one or two options, or very close parameters, and then I can usually run with an idea. But this? JUST WRITE? Madness.

Then I’d start. Our teacher gave us ‘mushrooms’ as the starting word once. WHAT THE.

Mushroom. Um, fungus? Ok, it’s messy. Reminds me of a forest. Oooo, enchanted forests! Yay. Ok, now I’m having fun. So I went from mushroom, to forests, to dress ups, to faraway lands, to pirate ships, to fishing, to beaches, our holiday house, my house, school, the bus…. yeah. It’s all connected.


We are all connected. Everything is connected. How you behaved in the coffee shop this Continue reading

10.10.10. (and no, i’m not a year behind…)

It’s been a big year. For so many people. To be honest, I’m ready for the end of this one. For seven months, I worked 100+ hr weeks, and it all caught up with me eventually! I’m hanging out for 2012, and in the meantime, I’m trying to treat my whole self a little kinder. A little softer. And with a little more care.

Here’s a few of the things I’m doing differently. Already. And for 2012.


It’s nice when you get some! I used to have my sleep patterns nailed. I’d be in bed by 10pm, and I’d wake naturally before 6am, without an alarm. And then I’d sit on my balcony and watch the sun rise (and take photos to share with you all on twitter and instagram of course!) Bliss. But that got messed up big time, and so I’ve reigned everything back and set up some healthy night time/sleep boundaries.

  • I get offline at 9pm. Off everything electronic. Twitter(hello big time culprit!), emails, text, whatsapp etc… all my online play ends at 9pm.
  • I do something relaxing for the hour before bed. Sometimes it’s a bath, with bubbles, and candles. Sometimes I read a book. Sometimes I sit on the couch and chat to my housemates. Whatever I do, it’s relaxing, and winding me down… Continue reading

my life as polyfilla spackling paste

I’m going to tell you a little about polyfilla. No, this is not a sponsored post… stay with me please!

Spackling paste, commonly known as polyfilla, is typically used to fill holes, small cracks and other minor surface defects in wood, drywall, and plaster. You can get a regular paste, a lightweight, or a light-bodied polyfilla depending on your needs. (You’re so welcome).

Polyfilla itself (as that well-known particular brand) was considered revolutionary because it didn’t crack or shrink, unlike other spackle based fillers around at the time. Over the years, other ‘Poly’ products were introduced, resulting in the now well-established brand.

Poly have products for painting, stripping, cleaning, wall papering. Quite the variety.

Notice how it’s a product that ‘fills gaps’. Essentially. Which is really what I’m on about, in this particular blog post. And I’ve written about this concept a little bit before, here.

Because that’s what I reckon we’re sometimes supposed to be in life. Gap fillers. At least, that’s how I see it.

A supporting role if you will. A ‘whatever you need in this particular moment’ person.
The gap filler. Not always the wall…

There’s incredible power in setting aside our ego, our ‘rights’, our attitudes, and just doing what needs to be done. For the greater good. Often we struggle for our position and our

Continue reading